36 Hours of Nightmare

“Panic is a primitive emotion”

The cold had surpassed any limit of human supportability. Nevertheless, with courageous courage I did not even go on my way, although out there was -24 degrees           Celsius, and I just did not care.

The weather was unfavorable even for a dog to let him out. All the time I was wondering, would I have a chance to succeed in what I had proposed to myself? But the great desire to win, led me to cope with the cold (the devastating frost), the snow that scattered every step, or the pole all of a sudden.

I had a ticket on the night train that was going to Timisoara at the company headquarters where I was trying to get myself hired for an interview. I honestly do not care who, what will I be asked or what will they ask me to do to prove my technical qualities.

I do not know why, but I started on this road with a strange feeling of insecurity, but not of fear or fear, or frustration, a natural feeling for all those who try to penetrate the new one, to penetrate another system.

In fact, I wanted to escape to a better world, not counting the consequences that could have occurred. In a better world as it was in my imagination, or perhaps how I dreamed of it after years of hard work in a job with a lot of people as bosses, bosses politically obvious and not advanced because of their managerial quality.

And there was another point, the fact that I wanted to show my creativity, to demonstrate to me and not to them why I was able to do it, even if we had a lot of barriers and contradictions in the form of the so-called policies management.

But I knew that I had gone from a very high salary to a lower salary, and it was lower, but I needed silence and not the hideous breath of a bloody director on the back all of the day, the hour having the ultimate goal of giving up my psychic.

Afterwards, I would have learned from my former colleagues that the hiring manager actually wanted to put a relative in my office, a character I knew as a nullity and an inability to think of the crash. But the fact that I took the step into the unknown, I did not want to give it satisfaction and only a moral palm. It struck too much in my feelings, the psychic demolition by trying to break the brick with the virtual wall I surrounded in hopes of protecting me against daily mischief.

 

The platform was deserted at that late hour of the night, poorly lighted, it pressed me very hard, creating confused feelings between desire and hatred, between curiosity and cold chills, and why not, the fact that I had not traveled much by train.

 

In my mind I imagined how it would be, to be alone in a classroom compartment of class 1, to dream, to read, and why not try to sleep a little.

 

But it was not the way I intended. Imagine that we had not been on the train for about 20 years. Anyway, I believed and hoped that in 20 years something will change for the better. And yet not. I’m wondering why?

 

The answer was very simple because they did not want to invest in any form, or maybe someone prevented them from realizing what they wanted, the wagons being miserable in all points, dirty, dirty, with seats whose upholstery was broken and exfoliated, filled with smoke like Greek, poorly laminated taverns.

 

Paraphrasing a former politician who has suddenly become a democrat and supporter of democracy, a visionary in politics, said in a television show that we need 20 years like us all the other ordinary people to understand what democracy is, but it was wrong that he did not say 20 years from now. But the reality is that many did not understand it, and on the contrary, the same habits and decadent orientalisms before 1989.

 

The steam on the platform gave me the impression of a frame in a Russian film, where the frost was at home, diffused brightly, that you had the impression of a dense, mountain-looking mountain, the personal waiting to leave had the appearance of passing passers-by. And yet … the time of departure was approaching slowly and sadly, marked by the two languages–of the platform clock and the noise produced by its central secondary.

 

I did not know what was waiting for me, but I had to seated myself in one of the compartments of that wagon, to travel and become an integral part of it for 10-12 hours until I arrived in Timisoara.

 

The distance was quite high around 600 km from Bucharest, which is not much in view of the length of the train, the wagons and the running track (sine) and the moderate speed of the locomotive plus the weather was not favorable for such trips.

 

In my luggage I had my camera I am never separated, even more so that I knew I would make nice pictures and still remain some nice memories in such poor conditions, as well as a few changes of clothes as I was not sure if I will stay in the city the following night and I will leave the next day.

Being the end of the week, I will see what I will do after the interview and I will decide, so it was natural to be prepared as strictly as necessary.

 

I was also interested in the weather forecast coming to the end of February, to know how it will be in Timisoara, anyway being convinced it will be much warmer and better than home.

Without panic for what to follow, and knowing that panic is a primitive emotion, I got courage and got into the train to find the ticket to find my seat for which I was paying.

 

But here the surprise, the compartment was miserable and ill-lighted, the sofas looked like after the war, but what disgusted me most was the cold in the compartment, as if it had not been heated for a long time. I said to myself that after the train started, the conpartment would warm up.

 

Maybe you will laugh, but I felt like a warm soul, put on for a few hours in the refrigerator for “frowning”. Oh God! I said I went through even more difficult situations, which I finally deposited. When the boss arrives to check my ticket, I will talk to him to find a suitable solution for me and not to have to take the cold in the wagon for 10-12 hours, especially since I was in the 1st class on the train.

I felt a bitter taste in my mouth, maybe annoyance, perhaps the inner soul revolt because I could not imagine that in the 21st century there could be such travel conditions, but I swore to myself that as long as you longer live will not circulate never train for those who should handle yet the comfort of the people should be aware of what to do and not mock them          by such chicanes miserable.

I would have had to take the plane, but it cost too much for my financial possibilities from that time plus I did not know if the round-trip tickets would be settled by the company I was going to hire. That’s great, is not it?

The night was dark, black like a cocoon made of dirty snow and frost, of the terrible frost from outside.

I crouched on one of the chairs with a book in my hand and the tablet along, hoping everything would be good and I would forget at least during the travel the inhuman conditions I was going through.

At one point a sinister sound was heard at the train station, and with a tremendous wreckage of cars, the train set in motion, which I was glad to finally leave the train. I did not want to look out the window because I had no idea what the lights of the station or the forgotten lights lit up in the houses of the people.

But my curiosity made me look at the eye on the glass, not looking for something, but just not seeing the misery I was trying to look for in the minds of beautiful pictures that might have made me delight, so if I could live the real-life misery. Perfect human desires, often difficult to achieve but not impossible to imagine. And yet, through a will of effort, I succeeded.

Later on, the boss came, checked the ticket, and I waited for the cold in the compartment, but this one, with an outpouring air of superiority, but with a look of a tame man, tried to explain to me that the car was attached after the train and had no time to warm up because of the cold outside, and that I should have a little patience.

His answer made me very sick that in a few words I sent him out of the compartment, thinking about who to cry for such an infernal journey. But I slowly went back to my vegetative state, thinking of other things.

 

I was sorry I did not take a bottle of vodka with me to warm up from time to time. However, the train did not have a restaurant car, as it was not necessary during the night, so the boss had responded to me, which, of course, made me indignant, but anyway it was too late to do something plus that I was going at an interview, and what it would mean to smell the drink.

 

The noise of the train wheels itself was jerky and steady, but from time to time there was a long whistle of the locomotive, so I woke up to reality.

In the morning I get a phone call from the person I’m about to meet and support the interview. She wondered what time I arrived in Timisoara. But my voice seemed rather cold and unfriendly, I thought I was mistaken, but I said I would find the answer to this question a few hours later.

 

Finally, I arrived in Timisoara, the weather was beautiful and the peak, the outside was warmer than it had been all night in the compartment, and what seemed to me most curious was the fact that everything was dry without snow, which I enjoyed thinking, what beautiful photos will I do.

 

I was very happy to get out of that compartment, miserable and awkward by the train, and I was able to breathe again a fresh air, a “west” air, giving me the courage to believe that all the bad was good, and that the step that I did was not useless, thus reassuring me in my confidence. We hoped to be fine, but what was going to happen is very difficult to describe.

 

I was expecting a guy in front of the garage with a company car, not even guessing that that guy would be the character he was going to give the interview to, so once in the car the interview actually started.

 

I opened my mind, with a slightly higher language than usual, I tried to hold a conversation, I am absurd from my point of view, about all sorts of things I did not care about to not seem snob to him and to maintain as much as a pertinent discussion.

 

I was asked if I stayed in Timisoara the next night, I replied that I would, but I do not know if I will find a place to stay. He conveyed to me that there are no places of accommodation in the city, the hotel or the hostel due to concerts and the great flow of people from that period. Clean up bad luck for me. So I did not know what to do but to go if I could get that night and to stay on the streets, it was not my kind. It was the first signal to me that I was not wanted at that company, otherwise they, as good Christians, would have taken care of finding a hotel rest before I arrived in Timisoara.

 

Finally, I said that after the interview, I will go to Bucharest with the first train to which I will be able to take my ticket. Frankly, he could have been a good host to get me a return ticket at least, but it was not like that. This raised another big question mark. I did not say anything waiting to see on my own skin what other great unpleasant surprises will happen.

 

We got to the company. Though it was not too big, the building I entered was beautiful, but it seemed like interior arrangements seemed to me unfriendly, unhealthy or even ugly about the critical architecture, but I did not comment in any form so as not to be considered a bad person.

I was walked through all the offices, feeling like a cat coming from Bucharest, or as like ET in science fiction movie. They may have done so with the good intention of being known by future colleagues, or at least I hope so.

 

We got to the room where the interview was about to take place. After more than 2 hours of waiting, there was another person who once joined the company and what I had to do in the company and that I was going to be assigned to the IT department. Anyway, it was my advantage, although I was not asked anything. But they did not know that I was a construction engineer, and that I had done many years of construction, and later I became an IT analyst after graduating from a university and a master, so was like a hobby for me, and why not for later to be a practitioner.

 

But as any host that respects I was not even served with a glass of water coming in after many hours of train, which I could not overlook, again creating a big sign question. I understand they did not like me and they did not want me, but why bother me and humiliate me like that? Maybe because of my special training or maybe I do not want to ruin certain games? The future was to decide.

In the end they accepted my entry into the company, equipped me with a computer and a phone call to deal with the shops in Bucharest with another colleague, and some papers in which my job was written, as if I had come from another planet and I did not know what to do.

I left, the guy who took me from the station took me to the center of Timisoara, so I can get out of there. Thinking about the newly created situation, what should I understand, the gesture of elegance with which I was treated, or the step taken by myself in the hope of a better life, was in fact a total failure? Or maybe, why not both?

Anyway, I felt abandoned as a street man, in a city I did not know too well anyway, I felt ill due to their unnatural behavior towards me, or more like a forgotten wreck at sea wearing windless wind to an unknown dry.

The impression was, however, that I played poker like a wrong card, which would have followed me looking for another job in a short period of time and getting rid of the dark area of the obscure company I was entering.

I went out of town looking for a travel agency to get my return ticket home, possibly eating something at a fast food and drinking some juice. The truth is that food can suffer but without drinking water, not.

Obviously, I did not find a ticket to the agency, telling my clerk there that I can only find two hours in the train station just before leaving the train. Of course I did not give up thinking that I was born in the bull’s sign I will never surrender to the negative impulses accumulated both during the night and the day and if I lost a battle does not mean that we lost the war. I was wondering how rhetoric I had received under the belt that day?

I did not give up, but I was stressed, I took some pictures on my way, because Timisoara, the town of martyrs, the town where the Romans began to revolt on December 16, 1989, the city where democracy was first wanted, deserves much more attention than the mosquitoes that have made me that day a handful of miserable employees, going to leave totally disappointed with the situation.

I ate something on the road, drank some juice as I had proposed, went to the train station, guided by an inner self-conscious force and the adrenaline gained on that day and the confidence in me that until the end I will achieve what I have proposed. I found a ticket to a night train, and history would be repeated.

I had the chance to find the heated compartment this time, which has further mitigated some of the other gaps.

After this sad episode of life, I wonder what will be in the coming days, which defensive techniques and strategies will I adopt in order to preserve my soul integrity?

The answer I found was given by

“Sun Bin-in the famous book Nobile Art of War “:
“Retrieving at the shelter of the night, such as a cicada that leaves the shell, is a means to overcome the opponent. In order to face a lightning attack, a light intervention force, made up of specially prepared warriors, is used.”

My question is: Who is the opponent? If I can deal with it and if I can really deal with what I have proposed?

However, the strategies I knew…

 

Life story

I do not know if the story I’m going to share with you is interesting or not, but surely I know she has “a lot of wisdom of wisdom” through which only a man who has gone through it can tell you.

Even if it can be considered by some ordinary, or maybe fictional, or perhaps I have no idea how to tell it, it is narrated by a man whose karma is totally unusual. I wonder why?

Simple, because I never came out or accomplished anything but nothing of my first attempt.

But I can say that for my luck there is a second chance, even though in this situation I was put I do not know if there is a second chance.

I do not have the courage to call it a Christmas story, but just the desire to have something Christmas, a small gift that for each of us is something, let’s say a little Christmas magic, if it still exists.

Reading the story of someone who is not part of my entourage told me that she is too sympathetic, too romantic and that she does not have a shade of mystery and fantasy in her content.

I wonder with stupor, actually what did she mean?

What can I do to write something horror right now around the winter holidays? I’m sorry, but it’s horror if you think about the mystery of the story, write it about criminals, murderers, crimes, it’s related to it because they’re killing the feelings, criminals of the human intellect, metaphors I do not have dare to use them in the story, just to give him a shade of mystery and why not a bit of fantasy.

 

Interestingly, I do not know what to say, but I wrote it more for myself, because it killed my last bit of hope she had around the winter holidays.

And now what do I have to look for applause at the open stage?

 

Well, I did not wait for the applause, although I’m an actor, in this piece I played, but without my will, thus creating a connection with what you would like to happen sometimes in your life, in special and dear moments of each of us.

Finally, a month ago, I prepared for Christmas, a surprise I was thinking, to enjoy it like a good cake, when each of us enjoys something, a small gift which always makes you happy, that makes you radiate happiness and why not who represents you.

Obviously, the story also has a dark black humor (English-specific), just as Buster Keaton could only give, the man who never laughed, to film sequences, let’s say, with “stupid thieves.”

Finally, from the previous stories, you know, among my fantasies about the hobbies that I have, some expensive or expensive, most expensive, such as quality photographic equipment and photography, technical equipment for listening to music and obviously the music itself, the books and their reading in more special conditions, also the quality pens made by célèbre firms, some with other golden pencil with a steel pen, not all very expensive but representative and that I use every now and then when I try to write something.

 

Many would say, you can write with anything when you have inspiration and have what you say, it is true, but for maniacs, when you write with what you like, like the words flow through the pen of the pen, like an tumultuous river.

For example, the famous American novelist Mark Twain loves to write with only the little “Conklin” pen, a very cheap pen at that time, not very expensive today, but with whom he felt comfortable in the art of writing, well you do not imagine he does not I also have, although I am not a famous novelist, only a modest narrator of events, sometimes fashionable, sometimes modest attempts of fiction or realities that surround me.

Maybe later, who knows … I joked.

Returning to my story, I was surprisingly attracted to the Internet by a certain type of fountain pen; let’s say a new entry, without giving it the name to never be accused by anyone of masked advertising, having some beautiful surprisingly beautiful and vibrant colors made in China with German pen and German converter, which I loved terribly long.
I do not want to go into too many technical details because that’s not the purpose for which I wrote the story, but the pen persuaded me to buy it without paying too much money (I,  honestly did not have too much money) from the world’s largest virtual online sales firm, Amazon Germany.

 

Well, now begin the mystery and the horror part I was talking about at the beginning of the story, I have a tragicomic drama if I’m allowed to express myself like that.

I had previously counted on the days I had until Christmas, but to get it two days before to have the satisfaction that Christmas would unpack the pack and enjoy a baby of a new toy that I had add my collection.

I honestly do not want anyone to experience this sad experience or my fiercest enemy, if there is any, and not for you, those who want to buy something around some holidays that would make you happy.

I placed the order on Amazon Germany, and I waited about 5 days to get the confirmation that what I ordered to receive at their estimated date, the reasonable date for me.

Although they took my money out of my account, I did not pay anything extra, as I said that such a standard delivery order would fit perfectly in my estimated time.

The first blow was that after 5 days I received an email from Amazon from the production company, telling me that I cannot send my pen on the Amazon Germany site as long as it does not fit into the international rules quality and that there was no one on stock (I refer to the color I wanted), giving me another color alternative on the Amazon England website.

Then I wonder, why does God advertise them if they did not have what they offered? That reminds me of a foolish joke, but I cannot tell you she has a too sexual tone, and that would make Santa Claus up if he read it.

Will you ask me why I did not buy it from a store in my country? The answer is not existent in that company’s stores.

 

The second shot was that the money I paid but I could not transfer them from Amazon Germany to Amazon England only through my bank account.

In the first phase I contacted the bank, and it was sent to me by a clerk with a calm voice of pleasure, that in order to recover my modest amount of money ($ 45), it is necessary to send them the quit email, although I sent them the email by which the respective company announces my cancellation of the order through Amazon Germany. Finally, I canceled the order on Amazon Germany, and I will receive the confirmation of cancellation of the order in the coming days from them.

That’s what I’m into the game, now I have nothing to do, only to play. After several days I get the confirmation of order cancellation and I will contact the bank to recover my money.
However, in order to avoid the destructive leakage of time and to be able to fit me in the period of receipt of the pen at the date proposed by me, I borrowed money from a friend, and I entered Amazon England, ordered it by the date of delivery expected to be December 8. I addressed the bank again, I sent the two emails to cancel and cancel the order one in German and another in English.
After a week, I get a new shot, the money was not in my account, a situation that made me very nervous and I gave them a phone to ask why it took so long to read a row in English and one in German to convince myself that I was right and that I gave them what they asked me, the more they had Google Translate if they did not know the languages.

Their answer was destructive, that in order to honor the deal, I must thoroughly analyze the data and get an answer in a few days.

What did not I know what to do? Do you laugh or cry? However after a day the money was in my account and I was able to use them for other purposes.

My luck was I had borrowed money from my friends to solve my problem, or I prayed, I thought we solved the problem.
After a few days, I get a SMS from the bank through which they noticed me, that the transaction cannot honor it to be deeply analyzed, and give them a one month deadline to solve my request, “this is the Cherry on the cake – a Romanian expression “, all the more so as the money went into the account two days ago.
God, in what country do I live?
Exact scenario of horror comedy! This situation has left me a bitter taste, a renowned bank with stupid officials, where she does not know what is right, where communication seems to be absolute zero, but where they are much better paid than others, or may have considered that I have a family relationship with “Bill Gates” and are full of money and I can afford to wait for the money back from them for a longer period.

Well, I do not have any kinship relationship with the famous American tycoon, nor do they spin the money with the shovel, as they probably thought, and all this for a sum of $ 45, but if the amount was bigger than 10 times or 100 times or 1,000 times, so would that have happened?

 

Question to which only the famous magician, Harry Houdini can answer!!!

Returning to my order, the delivery term was estimated to arrive on December 8^th; today we are on December 19th with six days before Christmas celebration and not arrived yet.

I think some believe in the nineteenth century and not at all in the 21st century, and if it was sent with a horse – drawn cart, it could arrive sooner.

But what really upset me was the feedback email regarding the pen on is not only seen in pictures and not in reality.

What else could I say? But my answer was quite confidential, so those who had to read it hope to have read it; but I was polite and very good and I sent them the following: “Gentlemen, you have recourse to the ugliest Christmas bad joke “for which I thank you wholeheartedly. Have I even lost the hope of receiving the pen, or even until Christmas I can get it?

That’s why Christmas does not give up at the favorite cake, the coffee in the bar and the cigarettes I usually smoke out.

Maybe you, teach me what to do?

(sorry if the translation in English isn’t so good, and my English too…)

 

 

Santa’s Claus Story

I will not start with the famous phrase “It was once like never, as if it would not be told …” because I may become ridiculous, but I thought it would be good to remind you that there are 11 days until December 24th, less than two weeks when Santa arrives, with gifts for children but also for adults, days when magic can become reality for some, for others a nightmare, but for most of us a great joy and happiness, days in which our dreams can be real and for others they can be swept away as if they did not exist.

It remains to be seen, who knows what can happen? And yet the miracles occur every day.

The fever of Christmas before Christmas grows in intensity as the days go by and the period is diminishing with the passage, but the euphoria that envelops us all with its magical cloak is growing even more so that no one of us can know and no anticipation, what can be hidden in the sadness of the soul.

However, in an attempt to paraphrase “Wilhelm von Humboldt – who said in a famous phrase that – The way a man accepts his destiny is more important than his own destiny” I will try to accept my own, namely to write something from time to time, maybe once, somewhere or someone, will wake me up to the transit state I am in, guiding my steps in a less aggressive way and instead of the lost paradise to receive the winning ticket to a better world, and discover that memories that help you live in the present are not good.

 

But let’s go back for a moment in time in the less shadowy labyrinth of history and legends and myths related to no one other than Santa Claus.
Is not that great idea?

After a brief documentary but effective inspiration, His nibs  Inspiration, the climax came to me by reading something about Santa Claus, of customs and traditions, related both to the country in which I was born and live, as well as to other countries world.

In my naivety, I thought to share with them, maybe they will be interesting even if I once said that I do not need inspiration being full of ideas, but here it all comes out suddenly.

But it would be better to start and not create too much mystery around this story, though she is full of mystery and fantasy.
Santa Claus, among other things, finds a mythological figure imagined to be dressed in a red suit that lives in Finland but also in Canada surrounded by ladies, who help him to prepare gifts, wrapping and transporting them to the mosquito’s sleigh.

The significance of the Christmas holidays is specific to the Geto-Dacians, although on the same day the Roman Saturnians are celebrated, and then the death and rebirth of the Iranian goddess of zeal, Mithra, as late as three centuries after the appearance of Christianity to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus.

Returning to Christmas, his name is said to be a personified noun of Santa Claus, his archaic myth being transfigured into the myth of a demonic shepherd who refuses to invite Virgo Mary to be born in Jesus.

But his wife, Craciuneasa, receives her secretly and her husband at birth, the act for which she is punished by Christmas by cutting her hands.

But the Virgin Mary, whose well-being is recognized, saves her and helps her redeem her hands.

This miracle converts Christmas to Christianity (a religion that has not yet appeared).

The miracle and joy forced Christmas to light a big rug and dance around him with his servants.

After the kindness and thanksgiving for the deed of the Virgin Mary, she shares pastoral gifts that she had in her house, milk, house, cheese, sour cream, for her but also for the little Jesus.

The existence of Santa Claus is 365 or 366 days depending on the year, after which it ages and dies after the birth of the New Year.
It is very true that the stories about Santa are much more romantic today than the old stories, and bloomed with the kind and kind of creatures that are credible for the children, and why not for the adults.

Traditions in the world about the coming of Santa Claus are multiple, resulting in the same habits in the end, the gifts being returned to children in particular, but also to adults on a case-by-case basis.

For example, we write letters to Santa Claus and are sent by post, waiting for Christmas carols, in the USA children leave cakes and milk for the coming of Santa.

In the Netherlands, Santa Claus comes on a white horse, giving children multiple gifts in their wooden boots, and in Sweden, baby gifts are put in a big bag that later bloom in the snow and then they are divided, the mosque being expected this time with milk rice, and in Russia Santa Claus comes with Snow White.

 

In Italy, however, it is customary that, before Santa’s arrival, Befana be sent, an ugly and old-fashioned groom, riding the mature to check whether the children were good or not. In England, children write many letters for Santa Claus, which are then thrown into fire in the stove, because the smoke pulled out on the basket to transmit their wish to them, but in Iceland there are 13 Santa Claus –   one for the period December 24 – January 6 each day children receiving gifts from each Santa Clause in part, obviously only those who were good for those who were not good receive a potato.

I do not know if all this is true and the tradition is respected in each country, but I know that there are other customs in the world that are specific to each country, but I wanted in a few words to share those traditions and customs that seemed to me something more interesting.

I wonder what I will receive ? Because, I was fine?

But I think I will do as I did to Mos Nicholas, take a few gifts to put them under the Christmas tree, gifts that I like and go as usual to eat a cake, drink coffee in a the usual restaurant, cigarette being forced to smoke it out (God, I hate this absurd law, but I did not want to make public policies, so …).

And what do you get for Christmas? Are any gifts that you dreamed and wanted and that you thought about?

I have the belief that yes, I cannot afford to wish you all the heart Happy holidays, and happy Christmas, and maybe who knows, to come up with a more interesting story and that can catch your attention more if those which I have written so far.

 

 

 

A little story about St. Nicholas

There are many legends about Saint Nicholas, but all these legends have a common point, namely generosity.

From historical sources it is known that Saint Nicholas was born and lived between the second and third centuries after Christ in Asia Minor, but the celebration of 6 December is actually the day of his death in 352 after Christ.

History also says he has inherited an impressive fortune from his parents, but he did not benefit from his generosity being out of the ordinary, sharing it with the bitter and poor, and making them happy too.

The legend also says that he disguises himself in order not to be recognized and to enter the sacking houses in the houses of the poor, leaving them gifts, clothes, food and money.

The most popular legend about St. Nicholas tells us that entering a man’s house that had three girls but who had no money to support them, he intended to get them to push them to the oldest job in the world, namely debauchery.

 

But Saint Nicholas, through his generosity and generosity, prevented this man’s unclean thought, leaving the socks of the girls who were hanging on the hearth on the hearth, enough money to forever remove his black thoughts.

Today St. Nicholas enters the houses of the people without being seen (according to tradition) on the night of 5 to 6 December, still on stealthily, bringing small children, gifts, toys, sweets and others if and only if they were good all year round and have cleaned the boobs in the first place, if not, leave them a honeysuckle, I think you can imagine why.

The celebration is not only for the little ones but also for the big ones like me, but who still have my heart and soul all the child.

I made this preamble to tell you that I am one of those who awaits Saint Nicholas even though I know that I will not receive anything, but still I worry and in the evening I put in bottles enough sweets as I was when I was a child to respect the tradition and to enjoy the magic of this wonderful day.

On the 6th of December, for example today, I go cheerfully to a café to have a cup of coffee and eat a cake, and enjoy it as if St. Nicholas invited me. I do not know much, because the smoker is, I cannot smoke in the cafe, but I do it with pleasure.

You cannot even imagine how great the joy is for me, for my heart and soul, and I will wait for the magic of fulfilling my desires, if not now with the coming of Christmas.

And so, I wait every year trying not to be sad, but hopefully continually year after year to fulfill my dreams.

How many years will I be waiting for before?

 

 

From a crazy board log

Never! The cost is not too great when you really want to do something in life.

But often you ask yourself rightly, do you have time or do you need more lives to accomplish what you have proposed?
Well, this is really a question you need to think deeply about.
And yet the autumn came, which will soon be completed. Great feeling to feel, see the yellow-rusty shades of the leaves, feel the wind that pleasantly caresses the face, and grazes the hair, feels the fine drops of rain when outside is ugly and it rains, you can dream about everything that is more beautiful, and why not feel the romantic smell of the gentle wind.

Autumn with its warm curtain slides slowly but surely over everything you like, creating palette colors that most often bring to mind scripts and film kings, having the power to get you out of a state of joy in a state of pleasant melancholy, giving you the possibility, in one form or another, in your own imagination, of creating virtual heroes or of replacing a character from a novel or film, and if you succeed, it means you have overcome the spatial dimension you are in.

I wonder if this is still possible? But are not we the slaves of our own destiny?

Why did I need a wretch to open Pandora’s Box at my birth? Did he do it out of foolishness or curiosity?

It’s a natural question that has been killing me for so many years, and I do not think I can ever find the answer in this life, maybe in another life, yes, if I can give back time, but now, certainly not.
Many enjoy the clemency of life, being modeling, coordinating, watching, and even supervised by people with a particular status in social positions that will be envied by most of you, being a character who learns many by that “guru” of yours.

It is obvious that you liked and it helped you through with helpful tips on how to succeed in life, what is the meaning of life, the way you must follow to avoid falling away, and the means to use to always succeed in what you do even with the risk of scraping corpses or making you “brother with the luck to get what you want”.

This gives an opportunity, or could I say a lot of luck, how can I benefit from it? And then in discussions with friends or other people to propose them in an informal way how to make the first million of Euro in a year, when they are practically not, or even they do not have this possibility, when in fact in other words “do not drink after drinking water”.

But I have learned myself, perhaps copying others, but who have not been, let’s really say an ideal model for me, I do not want to victimize or crawl myself, but the environment I lived in, good or hostile to me, formed me and gave me some landmarks for the future, that in response to the reproaches I receive from some about behavior and which I really do not want to make their names public, though it would be very easy, so that I carry my cross that was destined for me.

But I always believed in my charm, in my charisma and perhaps the fact that I read a lot helped me be alive. I never succeed in the first attempt, but it’s like Lotto, I’m still am trying again, maybe my chance is in my second or third attempt. Sometimes I succeed, but most of the times I’m wrong, and so I try, I try maybe it will be good for me too.

So far we have discovered the two essential stages of life, namely the first part lived before 1989, when you had something, if you were lucky enough to have it, and you could choose what it was, although you often did not have much to choose from, which is why I am as they are.

Others, however, who were able to make various selections because of the social position of their parents, relatives, friends, and the limited social space in which they lived benefited from the best.

As far as this stage is concerned, I wrote somewhere, somewhere, something, in order not to scare the reader too much, nor to be horrified by what happens, plus the fact that it would loosely cling to the darkness of those ugly times lived by me and others like me.

Reminders that remain.

And the second part of life, after 1989, when you had the choice of the many things, facts, time-specific ideas, there were problems, because you did not always have what, with the more advanced the age, the way of thinking trying to adapt to the new conditions and situations, often extreme, plus the fact that you have to find the appropriate character to follow in the conditions in which it conforms to the patterns you have.

Inappropriately told to copy it, maybe to follow it, possibly to teach you a new type of way to live in a lifetime adapted to the new conditions imposed by society, in other words, to change yourself, and to use new patterns that you would create greater comfort in life, which is harder but not impossible.

After me sincerely the two periods are similar but diametrically opposed. I’m not into politics but just trying to convince myself that the way I chose from the period after 1989 is the right one.

But now I’m not sure she’s really the best or the happiest.
Looking at me around, I now ask for a question, why some have really done, and I have come to say according to an ancient Romanian word “a licking lick and empty elbows, roasted mate”, difficult to interpret I did not come back in time to what I once was?

Do I still have time to do what I wanted to do and what I really wanted?

But I hope and wish from my whole heart to realize what I have proposed but not here, perhaps elsewhere, if God through his mercy will take me under his guardian wing, giving me a chance, or better said a second chance in life, as it did too many.
But I’m afraid to become a pessimist and not to believe in the second chance. Why do some people do not?

A hard question, you will say that time will solve all of it, but is it true that I have to wait for the mark of time? The spiral of life is ascending only to a certain point, then it goes down and if the climb was very tough, the downhill is much harder, and you can fall from above with an acceleration in geometric progression that can’t be stopped, and you ask yourself is not a bluff, and you should never forget that absolutely any waiting is provisional, even if it often takes a lifetime.

But some have managed to mark a point of inflection between climbing and descending, creating a resting area, or even crossing, as a deck over a cliff between two mountain ridges, or perhaps between hope and desire.

But now I do not want to talk about myself and my soul, but just go to work, do what I want with what I have, and what I have learned better, to highlight my creative part, to try to limit myself to the universal created by me for me, to enjoy as I wish, maybe some time somebody will find me as an exponent of past life or maybe not as an example to follow or maybe an example of followed by the next life.
Hard to say, but harder to achieve.