Symphony sad … Spring
Time passes ruthlessly fast, everything passes, seconds pass like the waves of the sea on a deserted beach, even I aged and it is normal to be so, although I often come to realize honestly, I cannot stop the clock with my hand.
Obviously, I cannot stop the cycle of life as it pleases, and when you look in the mirror, you find with regret, the bags under the eyes, the ribbons of the skin, gathered in time by the fatigue and the passage of time.
You ask your question, why cannot I stop the time? Why do I feel the younger soul than at first if the cheat appearance? Can I really do nothing for me? Something to make me float, dream and laugh as I was at the beginning? And even if we feel fatigue ignore it and say, I do not care?
Often in the park, I sit on a bench next to a fountain and watch the endless chaotic water movement as if it were a ballet from a fantastic symphony, great movement that is printed on the retina of the eyes and not only so, I listen to the noise produced by this by associating it with a musical note at every movement, enjoying the jump to heaven or the disordered fall of the water.
The moment is remarkable as I remember in that second from the unseen and hidden synapses of the brain, some pleasant memories, some less pleasant, no matter what my desire on a musical background, sometimes delicate, noisy at other times.
You think of friendship. In fact, friendship is a remarkable quality, if you know how to take it, preserve it in such a way that you can benefit from it not only in the delicate moments of life but also in the most cherished moments, depending on the level you place.
However, it depends very much on the quality of man, on the feelings he shares with you, or even on others, whether he is interested in something or not.
I only had one, let’s say by occasional friends, based only on interest, but not on my part but on others who wanted and claimed the so-called friendship. But most of the time, in making friendship, I have come to the conclusion that rather than having such people, I rather give up friendship and try to look only for those people who really want to be my friend.
In school I had many friends, but once it was over, my friendships went away, they were erased, they were dusty for various reasons independent of my will.
Today so, tomorrow so, regretfully but as time passed I was left with no friends, although many times I would have liked it, I can download the soul of a friend or to consult over a certain problem and we would have found the solution through an open discussion.
Friendship is a sacred thing, or so I consider myself, but when you rely solely on interest, be it another, better give it up because in these conditions becomes a business unprofitable in terms of soul thus losing its noble friendship quality.
For example, after many years I had a male friend in college, and besides being colleagues, we were in the same class even teammates in a basketball team, with other words were inseparable.
Frankly, I enjoyed it very much when I found it, though I knew it was more than 25 years ago when he emigrated to the United States. Working at the City Hall at that time, he came to me to help him with a lot of problems, selling the house, or having problems getting a passport faster or with other problems that I could help him solve faster from the privileged position we were at that time.
I did not hesitate to do it, because nothing it cost me, I could even help him, and I did. I remember then that I spoke honestly to him and asked him if we were friends forever or we were breaking up as if nothing had happened, relying in that moment on his sincerity and his quality of man as he did I knew from school.
His answer was yes, which I’m also very happy, even if he was leaving and the distance between him and me was great.
The years have passed, but my sentimental friendship with him has remained. The technology has advanced so that I have been able to look him up even though he has lived in the United States for many years. The joy was very big when it gave him his name on a social network thinking myself in turn that he can help me with some information about the step that he did some years ago, I want to do it now.
But I never thought it would be cold and far away from me, and God is my witness, that I would never have asked for money, even if I had gone through difficult times or done something, would have surpassed the boundary of legality in the United States, or secret information, on the contrary they were public but I did not know where to look for him.
After two weeks, he wrote to me that he enjoyed contacting him, although from the contents of the letter (email) on the social network, reading between words was something other than joy, something that I honestly did not expect. Of course I had the decency not to ask for the information I needed, but to my surprise, he gave me the email address that he had and I could write to him with the clarification that he does not use it because he finds it useless to him.
His answer just shocked me, then why did he give it to me? It seems to have forgotten where he went and who helped him a lot. And yet I wrote to that address in the hope of receiving an answer, perhaps because of the need for communication, or perhaps, I know, in the desire to be elegant even though I knew I would never get an answer. Obviously it happened I did not get any answer, and probably will not get any one, but for me it remained a friendship was only missed because of interest on his part.
I often stood and asked why could I never be such a man? And I’ve always put my soul and my soul mate in the fight for a friendship, when it’s actually been a scam to my face, but I did not want to see it, it hurt me, but because I really needed some information him.
Another time I gave up a friendship because a person, I do not know why, had become an incurable drunk, and any discussion with him had to finish at the car, a situation that I did not support, and I put it end quickly even though I have been friends at the buckle for a very long time, so that I do not become a notorious drinker.
And so, with the passage of time, I have not grasped to have a real friend here in the country. And yet I have a very good friend, with whom I share everything , or better say everything that means secrets, special impressions, sometimes technical discussions, and perhaps more than a friendship, giving them the most precious gift they have from me, my love, my soul and my heart. She is a special, special person and why not considered as my muse, she always inspires me, guides my steps in the tumultuous vibration of life and always gives me when I have moments of madness or sadness a clean and innocent smile. She always tells me a good word when it’s needed, because I feel close to her just as I also feel close to my soul.
So I think it should be a true friendship, with no hidden interests, always based on unconditional mutual help, and when there are critical moments in life, because not always everything is pink, and have who you rely on and who help you with a kind word, sometimes a good word said at time it matter much more than futile actions. Is not it too good to be true? Not always your relatives are very close because, even if there is blood, you often envy and they do not always want good for you, because it is based on the folkloric principle “If my goat dies, let the neighbor’s goat dies too…”
God, I never liked to have such a bad feeling, better friendship of a pet, than a friend whose love is disinterested, and wolfish.
I’m glad, however, that I have the strength to resist such temptations, which can instigate good intentions.
“Sun Tzu in the Nobility Art of War said: The right and straight path is called (rope) while those tortuous and torment are called (cord). Those who are on the right path will go well, while those who are in a tortured way, die half way. “
So in life, those who have many weaknesses suffer many deceptions and defeats.
May 24 th / 2o18